ENVIRONMENT

LIFE AS A BALANCE SHEET

BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE

Trading A/c
Our Birth is our Opening Balance!
Our Death is our Closing Balance!

Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade

Patience is our Interest Earned

Love is our Dividend

Balance Sheet
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Achievements are our Capital
Soul is our Fixed Asset

Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill

Experience is our Premium Account
Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment

Children are our Bonus Issues
Heart is our Current Asset

Brain is our Fixed Deposit

Thinking is our Current Account

The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.

The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.

Some very Good and Very bad things ..
The most destructive habit……. …….. …..Worry
The greatest Joy……… ……… ……… …Giving
The greatest loss…….Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work…….. ……Helping others
The ugliest personality trait……. …..Selfishness
The most endangered species….. ….Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource…. ……… …Our youth

The greatest ’shot in the arm’…….. .Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome…. …….. …Fear
The most effective sleeping pill……. Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease….. …….Excuses

The most powerful force in life…….. ………. Love
The most dangerous act…… ..A gossip
The world’s most incredible computer…. ….The brain
The worst thing to be without….. ……… ….. Hope

The deadliest weapon…… …….. ……..The tongue
The two most power-filled words……. …….. ‘I Can’
The greatest asset……. ………. …….. ….Faith
The most worthless emotion…. ……… ….Self- pity

The most beautiful attire…… ……… ……..SMILE!
The most prized possession.. …….. …..Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication. ..Prayer
The most contagious spirit…… ……… ……Enthusiasm

Life ends; when you stop Dreaming,
Hope ends; when you stop Believing,
Love ends; when you stop Caring,
And Friendship ends; when you stop Sharing…!!!

OUR DAILY LIFE

MOUTH ZIP,

ZIP IT!!
Many people need zip in their mouth...
So That we can stop hearing Lies,Ill words,falt findings,bad odour,ugly teeth,
and more importantly can stop Artificial laughing...

FUNNY INTERVIEW

interview : a funny story !!!
One of the best IT interviews!!
IT 4 INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY……..!!!

Interviewer : Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication
engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.


Interviewer : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had
never heard of this college before!
Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an
admission into it ..
What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in
12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college.
But my father said (I prefer to call him ‘baap’) - “I can not
invest so much of money”.(The baap actually said - “I
will never waste so much of money on you”). So I had to join this
college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.


Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete
your engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But
you know, these cricket matches and football
world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate.
So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took
4 + 2 = 7 years.


Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I
will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good,
thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think
they should ban it.


Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be
banned.
Candidate : No, no… I am talking about Exams!!


Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate : Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never
thought I would complete it. In fact, when i
flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus
corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.


Interviewer : Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing ‘lower’
education itself was so much of pain!!


Interviewer : Let’s talk about technical stuff. On which platforms
have you worked?
Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my
current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have
experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)


Interviewer : And which languages have you used?
Candidate : Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet
in German, French, Russian and many other languages.


Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate : It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a
higher version than VB. I heard very soon they
are coming up with a new language VD!


Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.


Interviewer : What is your general project experience?
Candidate : My general experience about projects is - most of th! e
times they are in pipeline!


Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd.
Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining
BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.


Interviewer : Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn’t be difficult. I know
Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to
dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And
very important - I know few words like -
‘Showstoppers ‘ , ‘hotfixes’,
‘SEI-CMM’,'quality’,'versioncontrol’,'deadlines’ , ‘Customer
Satisfaction’ etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!


Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate : Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not
have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear
t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so
as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term
preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer
US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is Olympics coming up in
China in the current year, I don’t mind
going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don’t
have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?


Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to *****.


The fellow was appointed in a newly created section ‘Stress Management’ in the HRD of ****.

E- MAIL ID

Wrong email ID:

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, without realizing his error, he sent the mail.

Meanwhile... Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen

which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've reached
Date: 22 Feb 2009
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.

I've just reached and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to see you TOMORROW!

FINDING GOD

There were two brothers aged 12 and 8.

They were very naughty and people went with complains to their parents.

Getting fed-up they took them to a psychiatrist.
Doctor first called the 12 year old and asked him ” Tell me where is God?”
The boy didn’t answer. Doctor again asked in a loud voice, “Tell me where is God?”
The boy suddently ran out of the clinic and seeing him the other brother too followed. He asked his brother “Why he was running away?”
The elder brother said, “God is missing and everybody thinks that we did it.”